Crimson Heavens

Despite of the fact that I should be writing something about snowmobile exhausts if I want some extra moolahs, I shall not be doing that today…Oh wait…I already put the link…Ohohohhohoho! sorry!

Anyway, Mr. Potporotpotpot (ok fine, just Potpot) had posted a series of questions on a “plurk” thread that he had started related to one of the most-used, sensitive, and in-a-way quite complicated four-letter-word called LOVE. It reminded me about a discussion between one person and myself about the ugly side of romantic love and the things that she told me which was, somewhat true.

Love is a strong emotion, and I believe that sometimes, a person really cannot help falling in love, no matter how complicated their circumstances are and despite of what society dictates or considers as right or wrong. Take for example having an affair with another man or women when one is already married, (Keep to mind, I am talking about real deep emotional involvement here, and not those cases where people are just simply thinking with their lower-body-parts.), or falling in love with a cousin, or those who fall in love to a person way below their social standing, or falling in love with someone you have not met, even falling in love with someone who is emotionally unstable. Most of the time, such scenarios result to hearts being broken not only of the persons involved, but also others who are close to them.

In a situation like this, probably at first, one would not care whether it is wrong or right. As long as your love is being returned, to hell with the rest of the world, right? But eventually the world will force itself on you, whether you like it or not. That is the time when you start wanting, even demanding, things from each other that neither of you can give, you have to start struggling, you have to start fighting for it, you will have to hurt other people who do care for you, you have to start making choices, choices that would eventually have a huge impact to everybody close to you…That is the time when you have to think…Is that love really worth it?

And when you do answer that question, you know that you already had lost something big. Something that had always been a part of you that you just had to give up and you probably not be able to have again for the rest of your life…It can be your parent’s trust…It can be your children’s love….It can be respect that you worked so hard to earn…

Probably falling in love is something someone just could not help. But it takes one to make a decision to take that step…to act out their feelings…to take that plunge that would probably drown you later on.

It was supposed to be the last day of the ITP-K Web Design workshop yesterday but we still have to come next Saturday for the group project presentation and closing ceremony. I was really not in the mood to do my part of the lectures because I had no sleep (NO NOT EVEN A TINSY-WINSY NAP) but then I had to do it…I tried to sleep in the taxi on our way there but I couldn’t.

Hubby, as usual, accompanied me and he took a lot of pictures. Actually he’s been taking a whole lot of pictures lately but he had no time to get them printed out. We’ll probably buy an all-in-one printer so we can print the pictures he had taken and will be taking later on. Right now, we have to focus on saving for our much-awaited vacation.

Anyway, all went fine, but ’til now I feel very sleepy and I cannot concentrate. I have to upload the pics and some of the websites that our attendees did…Gah! I’m really lazy. Plus today I rushed on finishing the integration between an old client’s website with the old CMS we were using (coz they told me that they are not going to transfer to a new one) and after I’ve done the whole thing, our boss told me to scrap the one I made and integrate the site to the new CMS…WTF! I worked one friggin week for that shit! Talk about major pain…

1. It’s not exactly about me…just about the workshop we were conducting.

2. My name is there just cause I’m the lecturer of the 2nd half of the workshop (Days 4-6)

3. I’m not in the picture…COZ THEY FRIGGIN PUT THE PICTURE OF THE DAY WHEN I WAS ABSENT…PFFFFT!

I’ve always been a sucker for romance and happy endings….

I was (and always is by the way), a lover of fairy-tales. My favorite had always been Cinderella, and other similar stories with a “riches to rags and then back to riches” theme. Of course, they usually involve the handsome Prince Charming who comes and saves the mistreated beauty from her awful predicament.

Gothic romance added to my lot of favorite reads, particularly those written by Victoria Holt. Almost similar, but not quite. The handsome Prince Charming had become the head of a distinguished Cornish family, and the patient, almost-meek and mistreated heroine, had become a lady with noble breeding, or a governess, strong-willed and unyielding to the shadows and dark secrets of the manor.

The “Prince Charming + Happily Ever After” concept, which was the major ingredient of the popular anime Sailormoon, had brought me closer to the world of Japanese animation and manga. I started writing stories then too, and the concept carried through almost all of my fictional works. It was then that I realized that wasn’t really the character of the “Prince Charming” that captivated me all these years, it was the “The Savior, Protector and Avenger” and the “Happily Ever After” part was actually just the preferred ending of love developed between two people, living in almost different worlds, through a meeting set up by chance, or for some people, Fate.

I mean, what are the chances of a member of royalty really inviting all the ladies of the land to his birthday ball? And yet it still happened. And Cinderella, despite of having a difficult life, was able to go and both were able to meet. And then, Prince Charming became her savior, her protector and her avenger…punishing all that had done her wrong.

Back then, I may have not seen myself as a “Cinderella”. However, through my grandmama and grandpapa, I had witnessed the possibility of true love between two people who probably would never had thought that there will be a chance for them to meet at all. He was a son of one of the land-owning families in Leyte, and she, lived all her life in Manila and whose family was so poor (according to her) that she walked barefoot to school. But they did meet, fell inlove and got married. She became the heroine and he became, not only her Prince Charming but her Sworn Protector as well of their own fairy tale—they had their own “happily ever after” ending.

I will not tell how exactly I had met my husband, but we can both assure you that our roads would never had crossed if not because of Chance or Fate or any Divine intervention. We did not meet in Kuwait, I came here to be with him and what actually transpired before that was a series of impossibilities that was made possible. But whether it was Fate or Chance or Divine intervention…For me, I had found my Prince Charming and we are living our own fairy tale…hoping for a “Happily-Ever-After” ending.

The last time hubby and I came home to the Philippines, we decided to pass by the Adoration Chapel in our Parish Church before going to the mall. Just when we were about to leave, an old lady quietly approached us and handed us a crumpled letter, asking us to open and read it. It was basically a solicitation letter, stating the old lady’s medical condition and asking from financial assistance to whoever can afford it.

My husband and I gave her 50 bucks. We were thinking that she is old, and she really looks frail, and if ever she does not use it for medicine, she would probably use it for food. For us, whether or not she is telling the truth, our conscience are clear. She smiled, thanked us and left.

On the last day of our vacation, just before we leave for the airport, I had to pass by the drugstore to purchase some baby vitamins for a friend here in Kuwait. I saw the same lady at the counter. She was counting her 5 peso and 10 peso coins and the pharmacist was patiently waiting for her to finish. I got curious, so I greeted her. She remembered me and thanked me again since she said that was the biggest amount that anybody can give her. She didn’t ask me to give her more money, nor did she imply anything with regards to that…It was actually a short conversation. The pharmacist handed her only one small tablet, which made me ask him “Just one tablet?!”, “That’s all she can afford ma’am…”

I don’t remember how much I gave to the pharmacist, I think it was more or less 500 bucks, and instructed him to give her more of those tablets within that amount and to give the change to the old lady. I didn’t wait, I left after that, but it was one of the happiest moments of my life…And if I had more with me, I would have given more…

Imagine being deprived of food, clothing, shelter and safe drinking water and all other common necessities…

Extreme poverty. A terrifying thought isn’t it?

Children being forced to work at a very young age, just so they can have something to eat, not being able to get a chance to have proper education. Mothers who cannot give anything else to their children but sugar water. Families who live in the street, with nothing but cardboard boxes or hugs plastic bags to protect themselves from the rain. People with serious illnesses or the elderly, like that old lady, not being able to get proper medical attention because they cannot afford it at all.

Do you remember the last time u did something for these people?

Pre-diabetes! I told the bugger NOT TO MUNCH 4-5 chocolate bars, a whole lots buncha cookies, biscuits, and banana chips and at the same time drown himself in flavored milk, mixed juices and 4-5 glasses of Lipton ICED TEA everyday…BUT DID HE LISTEN? OF COURSE NOT! So when Papa decided to get hubby’s sugar level measured first thing in the morning last Saturday, the result was a whopping 7. ++. WTF! I mean, the guy is thinner than me and I have normal sugar levels!

And today since he was hungry it seems, he tried to sneak off to munch more banana chips! I, of course, immediately called home and told Papa, to shout at his son :X for being so hard headed! Thing is, his eating habits are like of a child who loves to eat snacks and junk food and ends up not eating on the dining table…

Anyway, hubby and I decided to start “walking” together today. We’re also planning to see which is the best sports club where we can play badminton (his favorite sport, of which he was a varsity player of ) every weekend…Besides, I really do need to loose weight myself and exercise is better than drinking a whole bunch of diet supplements (of which I had been very much guilty of doing).

Grrr…I hope hubby would listen to me this time and not be stubborn. I also hope that his sugar level drops to normal soon.

I had just finished posting my latest blog entry and I decided to take a peak in the “incoming links” section of my WP Dashboard and noticed a link-in by Moments Of Colours and guess what was that incoming link for? Well, it was this:

<a href=”http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa197/nishaa2007/?action=view¤t=nishasfriendshipaward1.gif” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa197/nishaa2007/nishasfriendshipaward1.gif” border=”0? alt=”Award” /></a>

I guess it’s my turn to give away teh same award to some of my bloggie-fwends so here it goes:

Mr. Buraot: Anak Ni Kulapo

Rhapsody

Kengkay: Kwentong Kengkay

Lhay: Ang Blog Ni Nyay Maha-lhay

Azrael: Azrael World

Mommy R: Pinay Mommy Online

I won’t mind if they don’t pass it on. Am giving the awards to them just coz I friggin wanna…And I don’t care if they don’t want it either…soo POOEY!

I was listening to AZRAEL’s (aka DJ Robin Mendoza in his DJ-ing days) World-Wide-Wave Mix and some of the songs somehow made me reminisce about my elementary and high school days (prom night and debut party mobile new wave remixes anyone?). For a music-lover as myself, there will always be a song that corresponds to a specific memorable moment of my life.

I like all types of music. From classical, pop, country, j-pop, j-rock, alternative, hard rock, gothic, new wave, you name it, I can state a favorite or more. I love singing so much (but I think singing does not love me wahahaha!) that I had even purchased a whole bunch of song books!

I’ve had my share of pop-dance crazes: “Stars”, “Dying Inside” (hides), Ace of Base songs (”I wish I could scream out loudd…that I love you…I wish I could scream to you don’t gooooo…” from Don’t Walk Away), “My Boo”, Whigfield’s “Close to You”,Zoom; new-wave faves: “Bizaar Love Triangle”, “True”, “Upside Down”, “Everytime I See You”.

During my high school and half of my college years, I used to listen to almost everything (EXCEPT FOR APRIL BOY REGINO, THANK GOD!)…Metallica, Pearl Jam, 70’s and early 80’s love songs, jpop, jrock, pop, alternative, and of course, OPM bands. And yes, Boy-band lurrrvv! From a little Menudo(Ricky Martin’s old band) brat that I was, I eventually grew up to a Boyzone and Westlife lover. I remember how heartbroken I was in my 1st (or was it 2nd) year of college when Stephen Gately of Boyzone admitted he was gay…I liked him a lot and well, I felt like all the “decent guys” were just turning gay… My greatest crush back then (he was also a very close high school friend) also went out of his closet a few months before that and I was like…WAHHH!!! WHYYY WAS EVERYBODY JUST TURNING GAAYYYY???!!! Oh well, lots of people change when they go to college. I mean a lot of ‘em considered as high-school losers go and reinvent themselves and some, after their acne skin treatment, sever dieting during the summer vacations, and subjecting themselves to a complete fashion and personality make-over, really succeeded in doing so….then there are those kids who decide it’s time to err… “come out”…Well, it cannot be helped, especially in an “open to anything” environment such as UP. Anyway, the height of my Westlife madness was when I met hubby, since we both can relate to most of their songs…I got over ‘em boy bands but as you can see, I’m still very much into hubby…LoL!

Eventually, I listened more to alternative and alternative rock, emo, metal, hard rock, gothic rock. and jrock. Evanescence and Linkin Park were my favorite bands. Nothing much was happening then, I just finished college and I decided to take a break. I began my nocturnal existence (Ha!) and I spent my time playing Ragnarok Online, staying awake ’til 5am only to wake up at 4pm-5am the same day (except when I had to do some shopping and paperwork). I started wearing ‘em black clothes and never left the house without putting my black lipstick on.

Now that I’m married, I can’t go around wearing ‘em gothic outfits as often as I used to before. However, my choice of music had delved more into classical, gothic metal, symphonic metal, symphonic rock and a bit of dark pop too, mostly with female soprano and/or mermaid-like vocals. But then again, songs with hunting melodies had always fascinated me as early as when I was a child, and it all started when I heard “Falling”, the theme song of a very famous TV serial called Twin Peaks. Remember the song “Five Years” by Sugar Hiccup? I never get tired of listening to that song til now—freakiest lullabye I’ve ever heard…LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! Plus, I keep on discovering other similar songs, like “So Sad” by ‘em Gregorian Chant(ers) and Sister of OZ, and “Song of the Siren” by This Mortal Coil.

As for symphonic and gothic metal, I’m becoming more and more entranced by the “Beauty and the Beast” singing style of Tristania, Sirenia, of the songs from the earlier Theatre of Tragedy albums (whose lyrics were all of Early Modern English…kewlness!) and Leaves Eyes…All of their female vocalists have classical singing backgrounds (most of them are real sopranos), which I think is really amazing. Besides, the lyrics of their songs usually have this “theatrical”, “classic” feel, as if you are reading a fantasy novel.

What about you? Are you a music-lover too?

Grandpapa used to hold a good position in Ateneo de Manila University (not as a professor, he worked in the office as the chief accountant or something like that), my Grandmama was having a high position in NAPOCOR long…long…time ago(they never called it NAPOCOR, they always called it “National Power(s)”). For some weird reason, Grandmama retired very early, and Grandpapa, decided to just work as an accountant in our parish church.

Please understand that the house I was raised in was not of a filthy rich family. “Distinguished upper middle class” is probably how I would probably describe it. We were active and very much respected members of the community and our house was quite big. We did have a car–It was a white Ford, if I remember it correctly, which was older than me and was never replaced after it had been bought—two household helps, who most of the time dined with us, and were treated like members of the family. I’m not being an airhead here nor was I saying that we were superior, it was just that we were a bit different (well sorta quite different…)—probably because we had retained some parts of the”colonial” and “old-fashioned” ways… And when I was growing up, I had observed a lot of differences on how “things are done” between my family and other kids’ families.

Both of my grandparents were quite particular, but not too strict. I never had a problem with being forbidden to go out with my friends or anything like that. However, there are certain “no’s” and “should’s” and whoever grew up in that family followed ‘em. Let me give you examples…

1. Playmates and friends were NOT allowed to go upstairs…if they wanna visit, they can roam around whole ground floor. So you have to take all your things downstairs (toys, books, whatever), whatever you might need. You can talk as much as you want, about everything you want, nobody will stand guard and eavesdrop or something like that…The adults will respect your privacy, no matter how young you might be.
2. Any new clothes were to be worn in church first (except house clothes & school uniforms of course).
3. If there are adult visitors in the house, you are not allowed to sit with them in the hall until you are called in.
4. Don’t speak unless spoken to, specially when adults are talking (even if it’s some stupid gossip between the helps…hehehe).
5. The household helps are to be treated with high respect (I got belted…YES! BELTED! for this once).
6. If you’re coming home late, CALL, they won’t mind.
7. Everybody should eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together (if you wanna eat out with your friends, that is fine too, but call, so people won’t wait for you).
8. Food is to be respected, proper manners are to be followed in front of the dining table (no weird noises while eating please…they’re sometimes even particular with how you hold your spoons and forks), and finish everything in your plate. If you don’t like what is being served, do not grumble or ask for anything else.
9. No putting anything not related to food on top of the dining table.
10. Think and re-think before you say or ask anything, make sure you do not offend anybody.
11. No sticking your nose in other people’s business unless they personally ask you for your help. If you think something really “awful” is going on, tell the adults and they’ll see if they can do something.
12. You are responsible for all your actions but you have to think that every action you take not only reflects on you but on your family too, no matter how small it might be.
13. Be proud of your accomplishments…false humility is crap…but don’t be too proud that you think you’re better than everyone else because…
14. There will always be someone better than you, so be humble…

Sometimes I joke to myself that my grandparents had predicted that I’ll end up marrying into an “old” family so they got me all ready for it (except the household chores part…Grandmama got that one wrong, she never wanted me to do household things hehehe…Di daw for me…hanuvahhh). Sure, hubby’s parents weren’t comfortable at all about the idea of the only son/only grandson marrying an “outsider”. They were concerned on how we will be able to adjust to each other’s lifestyle…But hubby said when they finally met me, they were satisfied…Not only I was adorable and sweet (*cough cough*…fine, I added that!)…but because they thought that they sensed, and “saw through me” what kind of “family” I was brought up in…So yey for me!

I miss my Grandmama and Grandpapa. I miss that old house. I miss those times. I do hope that they’re somehow proud of me though, wherever they may be.

For all Filipinos currently residing in Kuwait, you are all invited to attend the event “SALABAT WITH LABAT”. It will be held in the OWWA office beside the Philippine Embassy at 6:30pm on Thursday. This is an opportunity to interact (and yes, even party, woohoohoo!) with Labatt Jimenez, various Filipino organizations and other “kabayans”.

That’s all folks. Bow!