Crimson Heavens

When mom and dad are here in Kuwait with us, we usually go to mass together during Friday mornings (Friday mass = Sunday mass here in Kuwait…Vatican says so!) instead of Sundays. And since mom and dad are in Goa right now, and hubby is on duty on Friday mornings, he usually goes to mass first before he heads to the office. As a habit, he first goes to the Chapel of the Infant Jesus and then heads to the grotto to pray so it takes him 15 minutes or more to leave the church after mass…

Last Friday, he couldn’t help but notice two ladies who always ended up walking behind him…They were there in the chapel…then the grotto…He remembered them as the two ladies who’re standing in front of him and were always looking back…HUmmmm…They left the church when he left the church…At first he thought it was just coincidence….But…

When he quickened his pace, they also walked faster (Keep in mind that hubby is realllly shy when it comes to ladies…he’s weird that way)…Anyway, they really started freaking him out (he is also slightly paranoid teeheehee)…so he started walking really fast (you do know how it is when a very agile guy starts walking really fast right?)…Finally when he turned around, they were gone…he was very happy that he had lost them (or so he thought)…So he walked slower and decided to pass by some store…

When he came out…he nearly bumped into one of the girls! Wahahahahahaha! He was so freaked out…

When he told me about it, I was so amused that I told him to dress up really good next Friday…Anyway I told him they’re harmless… they just probably thought he’s cute…

            I just stood there. I did not know for how long, but I just stood there. It was only when I felt cold drops of water fall from the clouded sky above me that I recovered from my stunned stance. I did not bother to wipe my cheeks, which were wet long before the rain had started. Instead I lifted my head up hoping the rain would wash the tears on my face. It didn’t take long for me to realize that it could only help me hide the traces of sorrow that continued to flow, not make them go away. I sighed, and started to walk back home.

            It was only hours before that I had passed the same path with him, smiling and happy, my arms wrapped around his waist…I shook my head out of sadness…It was all my fault. Just like the other times…

            And when I say, it was entirely my fault, it truly is. I have a lot of insecurities. The fact that women always find him attractive did not help. I am always scared…Scared that eventually he might leave me. Not because I don’t trust him, it was because I feel like I do not deserve him.

            He had always been patient with me. It was seldom that he had ever raised his voice during an argument. Most of the times, he would just accept everything that would come out of my mouth, no matter how hurtful it might sound…Sometimes, he would even apologize to me despite of the fact he haven’t done anything wrong.  

            But today’s argument ended up differently. He held me tight, and said, “Honey, I love you so much…but I guess…no matter how I try, I could never make you see how much you mean to me…I’m sorry.” After that he just let go, bowed his head and walked away.

            I wanted to call out his name, tell him to come back, run after him…tell him I am sorry. I wanted to do all these…but I just stood there and let him leave.

            And then when I was in front of my house, the realization that I might have lost him for good came to me in full force.  Quickly I turned around and started to run towards his house.  It was then that I saw him, running towards me, a black umbrella over his head. We both stopped and stood silently, facing each other. And then he spoke… “You are all wet…”

            “Yes…Yes I am…”

            “You’ll get sick…”

            “Maybe…”

            “I’m sorry,” both of us said at the same time. He then stepped closer to me, and used his free hand to pull me to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and leaned towards him. I felt him place a kiss on top of my head. “I really didn’t know why I walked out like that…I…I was going to come back because I realized that you didn’t have an umbrella with you.”

            “I love you, you know that?”

            “Yes I know…”

            “And you love me…”

            “Yes, good you know…” I playfully hit him on his shoulder upon hearing his reply. “Come, I’ll walk with you home.” I nodded.

Thanks to all who had read the previous entry and expressed their concerns…
I’m sorry if it sounded so grim when the situation really isn’t. It’s more of like a turn for the better, a sort of a “win-win” situation where one win is better than the other. The only thing is that all my plans for the next month and the following months after that would probably have to change — things that my husband and I are looking forward to that we would just have to set aside ’til later and all that crap.
I was having that “Get the ball rolling and finish everything soon so that I can plan on what to do next dammit!”-feeling you know, because what will happen depends on two people–one friend who already made up his mind and the other one, who is not close to me at all and still has no idea of what is going on, will have to make his in approximately 2 days from now (minimum). I just want everything to go smooth, I don’t like the tension…
Anyway I will put it all in details later as soon as the second person becomes aware of the err…things…

I first heard this song long time back and although I don’t understand the lyrics, I can feel the sadness through its melody—Beautiful yet sad…

Someone’s decision will not only have a huge effect on his life but will probably also alter ALL my plans for the next couple of months. I just hope all goes well in the end…Because I really don’t know what will happen until that turning point comes…

Please just pray for me…

I submitted a short story (if you can call it that) to AZRAEL as a reply for his INVITATION. Actually this is the 2nd submission since the first one was an old work of mine which would already had been re-published quite a number of times already in the web.
Anyway, you can read it here… http://azraelworld.com/2008/11/20/rosas-by-timi/

Thanks Mommy Gen for giving me these awards:

Thanks also for this award History of SuPeRnOvA & SwEsTpAiN for this power blog award.

The Rules:
1. Each blogger must post this rules.
2. You need to choose ten people to be awarded and list their names.
3. Don’t forget to leave them comment telling them they’ve been tagged and to read your blog.

I pass these awards to…

AnakngPiso’s Bahay-Palasyo

bena-yot.com

B’coz I’m A Baby

KirkSydney.Com

Light My Way

Moments of Colors

Kwentong Barbero (Potpot)

Pamatay Homesick

Life and Thoughts

Burinj Your World

Except for web and domain hosting services, I haven’t really purchased anything online as yet. Not because I am paranoid about the security issues of buying things using the internet, it is just that I have not found any reason why I should. For some, shopping online is convenient and the variety of products and services is really almost infinite (small business for sale too) but then again, I’m currently living in the country where HUGE SHIPPING FEES will always be an issue if ever I want to buy something from a reputable e-Store. Of course, this never stopped me from surfing around AMAZON, Buy.Com and of course, eBay…the king of online auctions—and boy did I see ‘em weird things being sold over there! Let me give you some examples:

1. Scottish Title and Land

2. Wiccan Lost Spells and Potion recipes

3. Mutilated Barbie

4. Real Tsansa shrunken head without human skull

5. Bullshit repellent

6. a genuine antique hobo whiskey bottle

7. Four leaf clover

8. Some animal’s skeletons

9. A Serial Killer’s Fingernails

10. A weird tree branch

I purchased a Windows-hosted account a few months ago for the purpose of showcasing personal projects on .NET (mostly themes and skins for open source .NET web applications) and I haven’t really done anything with it yet. I’ve decided to create another blog…A tech one this time and host it from there in the meantime.

Click here to visit it.

As it says on the title, we’ll still be celebrating Christmas in Kuwait instead of Goa…We owe this to this very sweet airlines (BOO!), who had managed to screw up our plans in a very special way. I mean, come on! Cancelling our CONFIRMED booking we had made almost 3 months before just like that? Bloody friggin’ hell!

So how does Christmas in Kuwait go? Work. Attend midnight mass on Christmas Eve. Order something for dinner before sleeping. Wake up. Work. Go out for dinner. Very exciting.

Hopefully next year would be different. Spending Christmas this way for three years kinda sucks. And since we ain’t that rich to be planning for Orlando vacations just as yet (awesome theme parks + Christmas = amazing Christmas parades people!!!), we’re aiming of spending it in the Philippines…