Leaves are on the ground
Fall has come
Blue skies turning grey
Like my love

I tried to carry you
And make you whole
But it was never enough
I must go

[Chorus:]
Who is gonna save you
When I’m gone?
And who’ll watch over you
When I’m gone?

You say you care for me
But hide it well
How can you love someone
And not yourself?

[Chorus]

And when I’m gone
Who will break your fall?
Who will you blame?

I can’t go on
And let you lose it all
It’s more than I can take
Who’ll ease your pain?
Ease your pain

[Chorus:]
Who is gonna save you when I’m gone?
Who’ll watch over you?
Who will give you strength when you’re not strong.
Who’ll watch over you when I’ve gone away?

Snow is on the ground
Winters come
You long to hear my voice
But I’m long gone

I kiss your sweet lips and sighed,
as I held your body close to mine.
You called me, and I am now here
My love, there is nothing more you should fear.
“You looked so beautiful”, I said as I carried you,
“No jests, my dear, what I say is true.
I am here, my love, and I will leave you never
Didn’t I tell you that my love is forever?
A promise I had sworn to you many years had past
A promise that I know that will always last.
What were the words I said again?” I asked and pondered,
hoping that you would help me but from you there was no answer.
“To the grave!” the breeze seemed to utter.
Yes indeed! ‘To the grave!’  How could I not have remembered?
Come, my dear I will now take you home;
You must have been so scared, being here all alone.
“Look your clothes are all filthy,” I say,
“We must get home soon and wash this dirt away.”
Still you remained as silent as before
“Alright” I said,  “if you wish to sleep, I will say nothing more.”
Moments had past there was only silence and then
I looked at your face and started talking again.
“I heard them many times; they said I am going mad.
They said many things, things that made me sad.
They said, oh so many things! Like you are dead and gone,
But deep in my heart I know they are wrong.
They are wrong,” I said, as I started to cry
I looked up, and there was nothing there, but the clear evening sky.

The Corpse

Endless pain ebbed through my torn flesh.
As I breathe my last, anger consumes me.
You, who had condemned my soul to the eternal fire,
feel the wrath of this dying heart.
Hear my curse, you, whose hands are stained with my blood:
that this anguished face will forever hunt you,
that the stench of my blood will never leave you,
that my restless spirit will forever follow you,
until your death, and beyond.

DESPITE OF THE FACT THAT THIS IS ACTUALLY A WISHLIST, IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO GET ME ANY OF ‘EM LISTED HERE…YOU TEND TO SPLURGE WHEN IT COMES TO ME AND WELL…I DUN NEED THEM( EXCEPT ‘COURSE #1), IT WOULD JUST BE NICE TO HAVE ‘EM *DROOLS*….I’D RATHER WE SAVE FOR A NICE VACATION ‘K?

Now that I’m done with that part I will go on with the….TIMI CHRISTMAS WISHLIST!!!

1. A li’l Wimmie or Thandu next year… (only THE BIG BOSS UP THUUR CAN GIVE US THIS)

2. My own MSDN membership to be renewed each and every-year until and unless I want it to stop.

3. Wii console,  and an infinite supply of Wii Gadgets and Games (all original of course).

4. 400KD credit to use on web purchases only (for games and other crazy subscriptions and purchases that are not really needed. Har har har!)

5. Unlimited KD credits for purchasing .NET controls and other Development tools.

6. A nice sturdy car that I WILL DRIVE.

7. A very high paying job…like, oh I dunno, 1000KD salary kinda LoLs.

8. A lightweight but very, very, very nice, heavy-duty laptop (AFTER ALIZARIN KONKS OFF).

2.  Tongue prints are unique (like ‘em fingerprints!)

3. Names of ‘em famous three monkeys -   Mizaru,  who sees no evil; Kikazaru,  who hears no evil; and Iwazaru, who speaks no evil.

4. Guess what is the common name for a number with a million zeros — GOOGLE!

5. Fishes do not have ears but they can hear—well sorta.

6. Blue whales are bigger than any dinosaur found so far.

7. Stalin’s real name is Joseph Dshugashvili.

8. They may do poorly in school or work but serial killers have above average IQs.

9. Drooling too much in your sleep? This might mean that you  NEED MORE SALT ! Salt is also essential in preventing ‘em varicose and spider veins.

10. You cannot taste food until it gets mixed up with your saliva.

I know what to do. I know what to eat (and what NOT to eat)…I even bought some fitness equipment BUT I AM HAVING A VERY, VERY HARD TIME TO APPLY ‘EM CONCEPTS TO MESELF (boo wimmie!). No discipline…Weak mental strength….nuff said.

Wot to do…wot todo…

Fortunately, Timi lurvs to play PS2 (and PS3)…And PS2 has a dance pad controller…So off Timi went to Hawally, and bought:

DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION (pad + game)!!! Got it fer a very good price too.

I think it is helping…but it is too early to say. I have the tendency to go on “yoyo” mode and that is what I am scared off—-loosing couple of pounds and gaining 2x wot I lost.

Well, anyway, wish me luck!

My earliest memory of you was my Grandpapa mentioning your name when I was 3. I was a child, true, but I felt something important was going to happen…People all around me started acting strange…And I remember having lots of visitors in our house that day, who, for me, bore the same expression…

I still have the picture of me days after that, wearing that oversized yellow shirt, both hands up in the air, proudly flashin’ that famous “L” sign and shouting your name on the streets. I started idolizing you then Tita Cory, because everybody said you are a good person—and I, being a child that I was, liked good people.

We lived a few streets away from Camp Aguinaldo, Tita Cory, and also not so far from Camp Crame. And yes, my family were also active participants in the EDSA  Revolution. The people supported you, probably not because they knew what you are capable of, but because they really want to get rid of the dictator. You became the president, and probably, you did lack the experience—you were never a politician after all. I bet, all you wanted to do is serve the Filipino people.

And you did serve the Filipino people, the only way you knew how—-you tried your hardest to take care of us, like a mother would take care of her children. You not only tried to heal the country’s economy (of which a lot had said you had tried yet failed), but also tried, if not enrich, but retain, the values that we, God-fearing, Filipino people was known for. For me, even if you were not able to heal the country completely as the Filipino people expected you to do, you did your best to fulfill the promises you made—especially the one that I think was the most important to all back then—You did not usurp your power and kept it all to yourself like the tyrant you replaced.

The Filipino people loved you for that, Tita Cory. And as a proof of that love, the whole country mourned for your death, thousands poured in to pay their respects, and tens and thousands more walked in the pouring rain to accompany you to your final resting place.

Thank you Tita Cory. Thank you, especially,  for accepting the burden you were entrusted with, even if you didn’t have to. You could have lived a quiet life with your family. That would have been the choice of a lot of women who would have gone through what you had experienced would have preferred. Instead, you had chosen a different path, and because of this unselfish act of total self-sacrifice, I assure you, you made a lot of difference.

The Author Father Ben Barrameda with his Team presented their specific work in this mass media apostolate for the Catholic Church.

The Author told that “This is a Catholic website that will help promote Catholic traditions and information. This will cater the needs of the Catholics throughout the world in their faith and inform them with sound doctrine as they live their Christian life.” He added, the website team in Kuwait started this noble work on September 2008 then launched temporarily on March 22, 2009. Due to the need of volunteers, we ask the help of other Filipinos in almost all parts of the globe. Today, we have numerous  users and visitors globally. The Team is still in need of volunteers in achieving our goal to spread the Good News and other important things pertaining to our Catholic faith. He presented also the Mission and Vision.

Mission

1. Committed to spread the Gospel and Catholic information through the electronic super hi-way.

2. Dedicated to air the Holy Mass and Catholic teachings.

3. Devoted to update the Philippine Parish Directory.

Vision

1. To be able to share the Good News to others through the internet especially for Filipinos and other people who are far from the Church, unchurched and no presence of Catholic Church in their locality.

2. To be able to air English and Tagalog Mass and catechesis through podcasting and video clippings so that recipients will be able to hear the Holy Mass and other instructions.

3. To be able to give sound Catholic information to the people for their spiritual welfare.

4. To help the Parishioners from all over to find their parishes and info.

Pinoy Catholics, Kasama natin ang Diyos!

—–

At last! We were able to officially launch this site. We still need volunteers…so…just email me if you want to help out at timi@crimsonheavens.net

The Neverland scandal didn’t arouse my curiousity.  To me it was just another celebrity who’s so famous that everything about whatever crap he might have done or might have been accused of doing had been blown out of proportion. I mean, honestly, an accused pedophile’s trial won’t cause that much of sensation would it? How many pedophiles’ trials actually made it on international media?

I didn’t treat the news of his death that much of a big deal either. I mean, sorry to be rude, but people die do they? I mean death is a sad thing, but he never affected my life in such a big way (not directly at least).

But what moved me what his memorial. Lots of people spoke about him. Him, not only being Michael Jackson, the artist, but Michael Jackson, the human being, Michael Jackson, the humanitarian, Michael Jackson, the friend, Micheal Jackson, the father. For me, that really was something and at that time, when I was watching the whole thing on TV, I saw him in a different life, probably more REAL that when he was alive.

It is a wonder how people can change almost overnight after a tragedy. From a happy person to a very depressed one, from a complete brat to someone so sweet and humble, from a person who seemed to be always in control to a nervous wreck.

Sometimes, after a major disaster happens, some mini-tragedies (well, they’re not really what you’d call a tragedy, more of just a series of bad luck) comes up. Like, you get fired, and then you get sick, and then the fridge suddenly craps up and all your food supply might end up rotten, and you don’t have any money to fix it much more get a new one….

Nowadays, I consider them as a big wake up call…the brutal type…Like when you’re in deep sleep, and someone just gives u a big slap in the face for you to wake up.It hurts, but in a way, the most effective.

All of a sudden, roachies are coming out from only God knows where! Not one, not two, but 20+ of them, one after another! Really creepy! I swear, it’s never happened before except for these past few months. Of course, they don’t come out like that everyday, it’s more of like a weekly occurance, specially when we’re doing the laundry. Like they’ve been disturbed from underground or something. We even brought the caretaker in and he moved the stuff around to see if there are holes somewhere, but we couldn’t find anything!

We do not only the attack from the roachie army, but the water in our kitchen, has a really dark reddish-brown color every morning and after letting it flow for sometime and it becomes clear again. And our water filter, has to be washed realllly often or it would end up looking really gross! Our faucet is being eaten up by rust and it had to be replaced at least every month. I bet even if we bought those posh Danze faucets they’d also end up crumbling like stale bread bahahaha!

I mean, sure if we live like total slobs and not clean our kitchen it would be understandable. But my in laws are really, really particular when it comes to cleanliness and all, so there’s no question of us breeding roachies and all that…Weirdnessss

Anyway, I’ll try to give you all a quick update on what has been happenin’

1. I haven’t been sleeping well these past few days because work…but then again that is nothing new…

2. I managed to set up a quick blog/podcast as a request by a Filipino resident priest here in Kuwait. This is for all Filipino Catholics out there – > http://www.pinoycatholicspodcast.info. To my fellow Pinoy Catholics, visit nyo naman…

3. Wanting a baby so bad is eating me up.  I am really getting depressed over it.

4. Our organization is in charge of the film-showing for the Phil. Independence day celebration here in Kuwait. Personally, I think the movie that is to be shown is so corny…I won’t mention the title na…Gives me the creeps. Haha!

5. I managed to recruit 2 more members for our organization. I hope they’ll get to come on Friday (see #4) so they’ll officially register in the org na.

6. Not been feeling well lately too (Probably due to #1?)

7. Hubby and I were supposed to go to the Philippines for a vacation this September, but that plan got cancelled coz…we’re going to Goa! I asked for a 36-day vacation…dunno if it’l get approved though…I miss my aunt and sister’s cooking…

8. I feel like rolling on something soft, nice and fluffy. Ignore me, that’s my disfunctional brain talking.

Cure my Tragedy (A letter to God)

Remember all the times that we used to play
You were lost and I would save you
I dont think those feeling will ever fade
You born a part of me

Wont you cure my tragedy
Wont you cure my tragedy
Dont take her smile away from me
Shes broken and Im far away

Wont you cure my tragedy
Wont you cure my tragedy
Then I hope that you can hear me scream
Wont you cure my tragedy

When I sit and think of the days we shared
And the nights you covered before me
Every little thing that I ever did
You would stand by me
Everytime you would cry it would take my wind
My heart would break
If I could be strong like you were for me
You are my faith

Wont you cure my tragedy
Wont you cure my tragedy
Dont take her smile away from me
Shes broken and Im far away
If you made the world a stage for me
Then I hope that you could hear me scream
Can you hear me scream
Can you hear me scream

Wont you cure my tragedy
Wont you cure my tragedy
Dont take her smile away from me
Shes broken and Im far away
If you made the world a stage for me

I cant take this anymore
I cant take this anymore
Wont you take and give her pain to me
Cause my whole life Ive made mistakes

I wanna thank everyone who greeted me, specially to the ones who sent me ‘em cute barfday fansigns…I will be posting ‘em later on a separate section of my page.

Heneweiz, so how was my birthday? Thandu gave me a debit card so I can buy whatever I want for sale online. He was planning on buying me a PS3 and Wii but then I said don’t do it bahahha! Actually, if the shipping is not too expensive (and if I didn’t already have a laptop) I would have bought a Dell Studio 1737 Notebook…REEEEDDDD!!!! Ultimate cuteness!!!! Beside, hubby has been crying over this laptop we’re using (Alizarin does not like him at all, it always screws up whenever he’s working on it).

Thandu, his parents and I went out for dinner, otherwise my birthday was just like any other day. Nothing much to expect for living in a country like Kuwait anyway, but I am happy since I celebrated it with my bebe.

18. When I call hubby “my luvvvvv” it mean’s I’m angry.When I am in a good mood, I call him “baka” (jap term fer idiot), “idiot”, “cwapface”,  and many many more….I also tell him “I dun like u, ur evil”, just like that….

19. A lot of people had told me that their first impression of me is “maarte, suplada, snobbish, isnabera“. Truth is I am just “shy and snobbish” bahahaa!…Okay I’m just kidding. I dun look down on people okay? I just dun simply like ‘em…Err…No, I mean…I dun like being around people, they scare me. I just wanna be in front of my pc and books and ‘em consoles *hugs her lappie*…

20.  There were times when I had these weird nightmares where I could see my room exactly how it was but I knew (And I could feel) there were someone else…trying to climb on my bed. Most of the times, it was accompanied by the sensation of not being able to breathe at all. I also know, somehow, beforehand that this nightmare is going to happen so I would always try not to fall asleep (but I fail every-single time).

21. I would definitely spend $1M on gifts wiffout hesitation (if I could afford it that is) and still think twice, even thrice to buy a cheap t-shirt for myself.

22. One of my dreams is to have a (couple of??) tiger/lion cub(s??) as a pet (who will continue to wuff me and treat me as their momma til their huge and scawy).

23. I would love to be able to build and manage an orphanage one day. My hubby shares the same dream. Wish we can both make it come true.

24. I see beauty in pain, sufferring, sadness and yes, even in death (as a subject, concept, or theme…). I guess this really does rank me as one of ‘em weird weird people, doesn’t it?

25. I thought it was easy for me to write this article….And boy, was i darn wrong!

Sunday is Gloomy,
My hours are slumberless,
Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless
Little white flowers will never awaken you

Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought of ever returning you
Would they be angry if I thought of joining you
Gloomy Sunday

Sunday is gloomy
with shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided to end it all
Soon there’ll be flowers and prayers that are sad,
I know, let them not weep,
Let them know that I’m glad to go

Death is no dream,
For in death I’m caressing you
With the last breath of my soul I’ll be blessing you
Gloomy Sunday

Dreaming
I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you
Asleep in the deep of
My heart
Dear

Darling I hope that my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you how much I wanted you
Gloomy Sunday

——————————————————————

…And no, I’m not suicidal. It’s just that…it is quite a gloomy today isn’t it?

8. I’ve always hated the color pink…until a week ago. I dunno why but I suddenly just want to buy each and every pink thing I see!!!

9. I’m married to one of the last decent guys in the whole world! BAAHAHAHAHAH!

10. I think I am one of the most pampered and spoiled daughter-in-law in the whole world…BAHAHAHA again!!!

11. I don’t eat liver….except if it is mixed in one Goan dish called “sorpatel”…

12. I’m trying to learn Portuguese and I’m failing miserably….

13. I have met two wonderful elderly women in India that I had grown to love as if they are my real grandmothers for a short period of time; both cannot speak English (1 can only speak Hindi, the other can only speak Portuguese/Konkani), yet somehow both seemed to like me a lot despite of the language-barrier…

14. I am very forgetful!

15. I have not lost my marbles…I was born without them!

16. I write better when I am sad and depressed. I actually try to reminisce the pang of unrequited love when I write. For me it is the strongest, most inspiring pain…

17. When I do complicated coding, I put my headphones on and play symphonic metal, full-blast. I dunno why, but it gets my brain-juice flowing…

2. When I was in my last year in high school, I decided to take up Architecture in UP because my 2 best high school buddies (who are still my best buddies til now, if I may add) decided to take it. Jem, the first one, had some weird idea and decided to put Pre-Med in UP  as her first choice and Architecture her second, because, she said, since both are “quota courses” and it would be impossible for her to get into Pre-Med anyway, she would automatically get through Architecture…Well, she got through Pre-Med…and since she doesn’t want to be a doctor anyway, and she figured her DOST scholarship would be a waste, she decided to go to Ateneo instead. My second friend, Jolly, didn’t get through UP Diliman, but UP Baguio… I ended up taking Architecture (which, I didn’t really like), alone. Pooey.

3. I started learning a little bit of how to read and write Nihongo when I was in third year high school, took Japanese 10-11 as my elective class in college and had almost gone to Japan as a Japanese government scholar….well, “almost”…Now, I can still read/write the kana’s and a li’l bit of kanji, and I still understand some of the words and terms and all that but I cannot follow conversations anymore…What a pity!

4. ‘Til now, I still believe that I was a samurai in my pastlife.

5. When I was in my pre/early teens, I was waiting for something weird and magical to happen in my life. Probably because I was watching too much of anime then or wotever…

6. I am a hopeless-romantic at heart. I love happy endings and I believe that they really do happen, just that they don’t happen to some people.

7. I sometimes imagine how it would be to actually go shopping in those posh shops without looking at the price-tags, I actually know people who do that…they just get in one shop, point at things they want and then leave with an approximately P50K bill, minimum, worth of stuff…but moi? Crazy.

Hmm…Life has been good to me…AND YA’LL SHOULD BE TOO…GIMME ‘EM BARFDAY GREETIN’ PICKIES NOW!…BAHAHAHAHA!

PS: Send it to mah email addy: fatimagodinez@gmail.com / timi@crimsonheavens.net …Kewl?

By right, all Catholics aged 14 and older are required to practice abstinence at least during Ash Wednesday and all Fridays of Lent, and also, all Catholics aged 18-59 are required to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday at the minimum. Abstinence means not eating meat (flesh of any warm-blooded animal) and Fasting means eating only one full meal a day (and two more meals if the quantity of both does not equal to one full meal, if really necessary).

To some Catholics, this is also the time of the year of which they “give up” something they really like to do as a sacrifice to God.

For Filipinos, singing of the “Pasyon” is an activity for the whole community. The Pasyon is a verse narrative on the life and sufferings of Jesus Christ, which is written in any major Filipino dialect. And then of course, there is the “Sinakulo”, a Lenten play, usually in verse which narrates episodes from the Old and New Testament. Also, for some specific provinces, other practices are also followed like the Marinduque’s Moriones, of which the locals reenacts the legend of Longinus, the Roman legionnaire who became a Christian, and of course the procession of the flagellants and crucifixion in Pampanga.

Personally, penitence by abstinence and fasting is one thing, but self-flagellation and crucifixion? Err…I think is just too gory….