Crimson Heavens

I don’t think I ever had a chance to meet you in person and yet you were someone I had idolized all my life. You were, for me, an epitome of a perfect woman—beauty, brain, elegance, loyalty, humility—you had it all.

My earliest memory of you was my Grandpapa mentioning your name when I was 3. I was a child, true, but I felt something important was going to happen…People all around me started acting strange…And I remember having lots of visitors in our house that day, who, for me, bore the same expression…

I still have the picture of me days after that, wearing that oversized yellow shirt, both hands up in the air, proudly flashin’ that famous “L” sign and shouting your name on the streets. I started idolizing you then Tita Cory, because everybody said you are a good person—and I, being a child that I was, liked good people.

We lived a few streets away from Camp Aguinaldo, Tita Cory, and also not so far from Camp Crame. And yes, my family were also active participants in the EDSA  Revolution. The people supported you, probably not because they knew what you are capable of, but because they really want to get rid of the dictator. You became the president, and probably, you did lack the experience—you were never a politician after all. I bet, all you wanted to do is serve the Filipino people.

And you did serve the Filipino people, the only way you knew how—-you tried your hardest to take care of us, like a mother would take care of her children. You not only tried to heal the country’s economy (of which a lot had said you had tried yet failed), but also tried, if not enrich, but retain, the values that we, God-fearing, Filipino people was known for. For me, even if you were not able to heal the country completely as the Filipino people expected you to do, you did your best to fulfill the promises you made—especially the one that I think was the most important to all back then—You did not usurp your power and kept it all to yourself like the tyrant you replaced.

The Filipino people loved you for that, Tita Cory. And as a proof of that love, the whole country mourned for your death, thousands poured in to pay their respects, and tens and thousands more walked in the pouring rain to accompany you to your final resting place.

Thank you Tita Cory. Thank you, especially,  for accepting the burden you were entrusted with, even if you didn’t have to. You could have lived a quiet life with your family. That would have been the choice of a lot of women who would have gone through what you had experienced would have preferred. Instead, you had chosen a different path, and because of this unselfish act of total self-sacrifice, I assure you, you made a lot of difference.

To tell you all the truth, I never, ever, ever liked him when he was still alive…I never hated his guts either. I simply never took interest (or I felt there wasn’t really any reason for me to) in what he did, nor his music, nor his life…

The Neverland scandal didn’t arouse my curiousity.  To me it was just another celebrity who’s so famous that everything about whatever crap he might have done or might have been accused of doing had been blown out of proportion. I mean, honestly, an accused pedophile’s trial won’t cause that much of sensation would it? How many pedophiles’ trials actually made it on international media?

I didn’t treat the news of his death that much of a big deal either. I mean, sorry to be rude, but people die do they? I mean death is a sad thing, but he never affected my life in such a big way (not directly at least).

But what moved me what his memorial. Lots of people spoke about him. Him, not only being Michael Jackson, the artist, but Michael Jackson, the human being, Michael Jackson, the humanitarian, Michael Jackson, the friend, Micheal Jackson, the father. For me, that really was something and at that time, when I was watching the whole thing on TV, I saw him in a different life, probably more REAL that when he was alive.

I got a news from home about an incident which might be considered to be a disaster to some members of the family involved. And yes, it did involve me, indirectly, in a way, sorta, because it involves people who are close to me. It got me all disturbed in a way, and it reminded me about my own experience when my grandpapa died and I almost didn’t have anything to my name.

It is a wonder how people can change almost overnight after a tragedy. From a happy person to a very depressed one, from a complete brat to someone so sweet and humble, from a person who seemed to be always in control to a nervous wreck.

Sometimes, after a major disaster happens, some mini-tragedies (well, they’re not really what you’d call a tragedy, more of just a series of bad luck) comes up. Like, you get fired, and then you get sick, and then the fridge suddenly craps up and all your food supply might end up rotten, and you don’t have any money to fix it much more get a new one….

Nowadays, I consider them as a big wake up call…the brutal type…Like when you’re in deep sleep, and someone just gives u a big slap in the face for you to wake up.It hurts, but in a way, the most effective.

Something really weird has been happening to our kitchen for quite sometime now….

All of a sudden, roachies are coming out from only God knows where! Not one, not two, but 20+ of them, one after another! Really creepy! I swear, it’s never happened before except for these past few months. Of course, they don’t come out like that everyday, it’s more of like a weekly occurance, specially when we’re doing the laundry. Like they’ve been disturbed from underground or something. We even brought the caretaker in and he moved the stuff around to see if there are holes somewhere, but we couldn’t find anything!

We do not only the attack from the roachie army, but the water in our kitchen, has a really dark reddish-brown color every morning and after letting it flow for sometime and it becomes clear again. And our water filter, has to be washed realllly often or it would end up looking really gross! Our faucet is being eaten up by rust and it had to be replaced at least every month. I bet even if we bought those posh Danze faucets they’d also end up crumbling like stale bread bahahaha!

I mean, sure if we live like total slobs and not clean our kitchen it would be understandable. But my in laws are really, really particular when it comes to cleanliness and all, so there’s no question of us breeding roachies and all that…Weirdnessss

So I haven’t been blogging lately. Work is currently driving me insane so…

Anyway, I’ll try to give you all a quick update on what has been happenin’

1. I haven’t been sleeping well these past few days because work…but then again that is nothing new…

2. I managed to set up a quick blog/podcast as a request by a Filipino resident priest here in Kuwait. This is for all Filipino Catholics out there – > http://www.pinoycatholicspodcast.info. To my fellow Pinoy Catholics, visit nyo naman…

3. Wanting a baby so bad is eating me up.  I am really getting depressed over it.

4. Our organization is in charge of the film-showing for the Phil. Independence day celebration here in Kuwait. Personally, I think the movie that is to be shown is so corny…I won’t mention the title na…Gives me the creeps. Haha!

5. I managed to recruit 2 more members for our organization. I hope they’ll get to come on Friday (see #4) so they’ll officially register in the org na.

6. Not been feeling well lately too (Probably due to #1?)

7. Hubby and I were supposed to go to the Philippines for a vacation this September, but that plan got cancelled coz…we’re going to Goa! I asked for a 36-day vacation…dunno if it’l get approved though…I miss my aunt and sister’s cooking…

8. I feel like rolling on something soft, nice and fluffy. Ignore me, that’s my disfunctional brain talking.

…And here I was planning to do the 100 Random things version…the heck!

18. When I call hubby “my luvvvvv” it mean’s I’m angry.When I am in a good mood, I call him “baka” (jap term fer idiot), “idiot”, “cwapface”,  and many many more….I also tell him “I dun like u, ur evil”, just like that….

19. A lot of people had told me that their first impression of me is “maarte, suplada, snobbish, isnabera“. Truth is I am just “shy and snobbish” bahahaa!…Okay I’m just kidding. I dun look down on people okay? I just dun simply like ‘em…Err…No, I mean…I dun like being around people, they scare me. I just wanna be in front of my pc and books and ‘em consoles *hugs her lappie*…

20.  There were times when I had these weird nightmares where I could see my room exactly how it was but I knew (And I could feel) there were someone else…trying to climb on my bed. Most of the times, it was accompanied by the sensation of not being able to breathe at all. I also know, somehow, beforehand that this nightmare is going to happen so I would always try not to fall asleep (but I fail every-single time).

21. I would definitely spend $1M on gifts wiffout hesitation (if I could afford it that is) and still think twice, even thrice to buy a cheap t-shirt for myself.

22. One of my dreams is to have a (couple of??) tiger/lion cub(s??) as a pet (who will continue to wuff me and treat me as their momma til their huge and scawy).

23. I would love to be able to build and manage an orphanage one day. My hubby shares the same dream. Wish we can both make it come true.

24. I see beauty in pain, sufferring, sadness and yes, even in death (as a subject, concept, or theme…). I guess this really does rank me as one of ‘em weird weird people, doesn’t it?

25. I thought it was easy for me to write this article….And boy, was i darn wrong!

And so it continues…Mahirap mag-isip!

8. I’ve always hated the color pink…until a week ago. I dunno why but I suddenly just want to buy each and every pink thing I see!!!

9. I’m married to one of the last decent guys in the whole world! BAAHAHAHAHAH!

10. I think I am one of the most pampered and spoiled daughter-in-law in the whole world…BAHAHAHA again!!!

11. I don’t eat liver….except if it is mixed in one Goan dish called “sorpatel”…

12. I’m trying to learn Portuguese and I’m failing miserably….

13. I have met two wonderful elderly women in India that I had grown to love as if they are my real grandmothers for a short period of time; both cannot speak English (1 can only speak Hindi, the other can only speak Portuguese/Konkani), yet somehow both seemed to like me a lot despite of the language-barrier…

14. I am very forgetful!

15. I have not lost my marbles…I was born without them!

16. I write better when I am sad and depressed. I actually try to reminisce the pang of unrequited love when I write. For me it is the strongest, most inspiring pain…

17. When I do complicated coding, I put my headphones on and play symphonic metal, full-blast. I dunno why, but it gets my brain-juice flowing…

Someone’s decision will not only have a huge effect on his life but will probably also alter ALL my plans for the next couple of months. I just hope all goes well in the end…Because I really don’t know what will happen until that turning point comes…

Please just pray for me…

I submitted a short story (if you can call it that) to AZRAEL as a reply for his INVITATION. Actually this is the 2nd submission since the first one was an old work of mine which would already had been re-published quite a number of times already in the web.
Anyway, you can read it here… http://azraelworld.com/2008/11/20/rosas-by-timi/

My earliest childhood memory was me opening a small picture book. I already knew how to “read” some words back then, like “cat”, “dog” and such so I really have no memory when I actually started learning how to read. I developed love for books, specifically fiction, and since we had bookshelves filled with the, I never ran out of books to read.

I started buying books for my own collection in high school. I’ve always been a fast reader and being a student, I bought them from a famous second hand book store chain in my country.  Until now, I still have the habit of buying 2nd hand books even if I can afford to buy new ones—some from a small shop in the city called Q8books and some from the Friday Market (they used to sell 2nd hand books over there only for 1/4 dinar each!).

It was in that Friday Market that I discovered “The Shadow of the Wind” a New York Bestseller written by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. It’s about the son of an antiquarian book dealer in 1945 Barcelona and how the mysterious book, “The Shadow of the Wind” pulled him in a web of dark secrets. An amazing plot, written in a way that there is a story within a story…Complex yet easy to read…

I wish I could write a novel like that…but then again…I lack one main ingredient…and that would be TALENT!